learning a new language

Given the job that I do, being able to operate in another language is a very useful skill. Unfortunately, the nature of being housebound in a small family home means that repeating the recitations of Herr Linguaphone will have to be put off for another occasion. Anyway, as we all know, the only really effective way to learn a language is to be immersed in it. For this reason, I have been afforded the unique opportunity to learn toddler.

The difficulties of this can be easily illustrated by two of William's favourite phrases - "Bee bee bum" and "Ber bee bum". The experienced toddler speaker will, of course, recognise these utterances as "PC Plum" and "Bertie Bus" respectively. Only hours of sofa bound observation have enabled me to pick up the skills required to interpret this. On the plus side, William does tend to stick to familiar topics - facilitating my own learning through context. "Dadoot" can only ever really mean "Thomas", both because this forms 50% of his conversation, and because it is often declaimed whilst waving a Thomas toy. More abstract ideas are trickier. We are trying to improve everybody's chances of knowing what on Earth he's talking about by teaching him some sign language. Thus "Peet", and a hand up to the mouth, means "Please". This early politeness training can backfire. How can you reward a 2 year old for asking nicely when he is repeating "Peet" with increasing urgency, and motioning desperately for you to hand him a bread knife? Other signs are more entertaining. Shaping a mane and a pair of paws enables you to sign 'lion". Or "Dyoot" in William speak. "Manit," is the word most often heard around the house. It means 'nappy'. Naturally.

The real joy of learning toddler is that it is a two way process. William is an excellent mimic. It took me about 1.5secs to teach him to say the word 'bugger'. It will take me a lifetime to try and stop him saying it.